April, 2025
I spent my 20th birthday in a shell scrape in the Cairngorms, idly wondering if a 5.56 blank generated enough pressure to kill yourself with. If I could find peace to get the BFA off unnoticed, then sat down, pushed the muzzle up against the roof of my mouth, and pulled the trigger would it punch through or would it merely maim?
That would’ve been embarrassing wouldn’t it?
Being found with half your palate on the floor, too retarded to die properly.
You’d probably get shouted at for something like that.
My 30th birthday was a lot better, lowkey, lying on the beach listening to an audiobook, big brunch, bed by nine, comfy vibes, very sensible, very millennial.
Life is getting better as I get older, slowly but surely seeping up to something approaching normal.
The last three months have been a roller-coaster, and I’m a bit out of sorts, but I’m having fun.
I feel awake, really awake for the first time in years.
I’m never going back.
I am currently:
- Burning through money
- Making big mistakes
- Enjoying myself
Thought of the Now
There is too much Gundam in the world today. Bring back VOTOMS.
Cool thing of the Now
An interesting blog
A horror story by the owner of the above, now only available on archive.org. horrifiedmagazine quietly died sometime in 2024
Previous Now posts
2025
February, 2025
February, 2025
Hurry up and wait.
That’s the theme of February.
All my previous business tidied up, I’m at leisure until the start of March.
I don’t like having this much free time.
I am currently:
- Writing a load of nonsense
- Throwing out most of my life
- Agonising over bullshit (as usual)
Thought of the Now
Too much pressure makes you buckle, does too little make you pop?
Cool thing of the Now
A longform tutorial for UXN, a very interesting, VM based operating system
2024
November, 2024
November, 2024
As the days get shorter and the air thinner I can feel myself growing stranger.
Winter is always a hard time, this winter especially seems laden with dread, and no wonder,
the Earth is pregnant with something terrible.
I am currently:
- Finalising a move
- Tying up loose ends
- Spending more time out in the night
- Staying up too late
Thought of the Now
Modernity is defined by noise.
Cool thing of the Now
A website about a family of ocean going nomads (my ideal lifestyle)
September, 2024
September, 2024
Life is slowly picking up pace, decisions long delayed loom in the near future.
The last months have been very busy, for good and bad, I have been put through my paces and for the most part come off well, but I have a feeling next year will be harder.
I am currently:
- In the middle of purging a bunch of bad habits from my life
- Contemplating immigration
- Reading a lot of good horror
- Trying to spend more time with friends
Thought of the Now
What is coke even meant to bloody taste like?
Cool thing of the Now
An old geocities site for Glenveagh National Park
A really cool old site for one of my absolute favourite places.
June, 2024
June, 2024
I feel like I am in a liminal phase, finally grappling with old issues, maybe a little too late for it to matter.
I have spent all of 2024 in a state of frustration, and I’m tired, at the same time I am glad to be here, I am in a much better place than I was 12 months ago, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
I am currently:
-
Spending more time in nature
-
Getting serious about long distance running
-
Struggling to find somewhere to live
-
Trying to cut low quality technology use out of my life
-
Seeking peace, whatever that looks like
Thought of the Now
How much of my fucking life have I spent sat in a chair, staring at a monitor?
Cool thing of the Now
Inspired by White VHS & nownownow